The Further Outback Adventures of Myles (from anywhere)

Today’s episode finds our gallant hero setting a fierce pace in his recently purchased New Balance MT10V2 Minimus with his loyal sidekick Industrial Relations Man running beside him. They  head away from their remote Australian outback mine site into the harsh, unforgiving Pilbara desert as the sun sets and a winters wind, cold as only desert winds can be, sets in.

Suddenly, the empty silence of their surroundings is broken by a loud, deep “WOOF”! They turn to find that fierce hunter of the outback, that Australian subspecies of the gray wolf, Canis lupus dingo, only thirty feet away and charging towards them! (okay, maybe trotting quickly).

Knowing that the only thing standing between himself and certain death (or perhaps a minor gnawing of the lower leg) was to not show fear, Myles turns to face the ravenous beast, yells loudly while stomping his foot, and only deposits a small load in the back of his spandex running shorts inners. The evil dingo, recognizing a superior alpha male, stops and shivers in fear  (although other reports have it quaking with laughter).

Turning away from the beast with a haughty sneer, Myles once again resumes his record setting pace, doing his best to calm Industrial Man and restore blood circulation to IRM’s pale features, a result of his close brush with the grim reaper.

dingo

But wait! A glance behind him shows Myles that once again they are being stalked by this fierce predator. Has our valiant hero finally bitten off more than he can chew? Loud strident background soundtracks ensue, amping up the already unbearable levels of foreboding!

There is only one thing left, only one way for the pair to survive. They will have to battle the dingo directly!

Searching around wildly for something, anything, to help him get away, Myles considers tripping up Industrial Relations Man and turning on his after burners. After all, Myles doesn’t have to outrun the dingo, he only has to outrun Industrial Relations Man! But one look into those worried, trusting eyes tells Myles that this is not the correct course of action. With only seconds to spare, Myles reaches down for a fist sized rock and hurls it at the dingo, scoring a direct hit between the eyes, knocking the beast senseless.

Victorious, our pair head off further into their run, only to find a truck driver hopelessly lost in the remote bush, with only them to save him from a fate of having to eat endangered animals and drink his own urine to survive. But that, my friends, is a story for another day…

(EDITORS NOTE: No dingos were injured in the above story. Truth be told, as soon as it saw me picking up the rock it hit the hills as fast as it could *lol*)

About Myles

"Great. We're in the middle of nowhere, miles from anywhere." - Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009)
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3 Responses to The Further Outback Adventures of Myles (from anywhere)

  1. Russell says:

    I Knew There Was A Reason I Was Forced To Subscribe To This Blog..

  2. Dutch says:

    Dingo has its own, different, meaning here in the U.S. and for some odd reason it seems to apply here . . .

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